I truly desire wisdom. Maybe I already possess more that than I’m aware of. However analyzing my life and my current situation I’ll make no such claims. I need to breakthrough this barrier.
If I could leave this world gracefully I would in an instant. Truth be told, I can. My frustrations lye in that I have to do just that everyday, over and over again. If I dare try to advance or enjoy this life hell immediately reaches out to grab hold of me by way of everyone I love. I’ve wondered if I have to suffer in order for the world around me to thrive. This is not a weight I’m equipped to bare forever.
Am I actually loved by those who often use the words or is that just their personal attachment to me speaking? My moments of strength are usually met with hammers and attempts to beat away all moral and spiritual conviction. No doubt, “tough love” would be sited as their motive were I ever to triumph. However, I don’t blame them. This road I’m meant to walk should be walked alone. I know how heavy of a burden It is and I wear it on my shoulders like a sign warning others not to get too close.
Why is it that every glimmer of hope Is met with chaos? I’m tired of breathing. My Good days have a way of taunting me. I pray for relief, not just for a moment but lasting relief. That being said, I’ll take whatever good I can get. Give me all the good, all the beautiful, everything wonderful. I want it all.
Fortunately for me and everyone else, love has spectacular aim. Either that or it's accuracy is abysmal, because it hits everyone. To many this is hard to accept, but there is no escaping what is true. Love locks on and unloads it’s arsenal, overwhelming the heart. Perfectly timed it hits you and I alike in our hour of need. It becomes fuel that carries us further into purpose if we can just accept it.
Love elevates me beyond my circumstance. It beckons me closer as I wade through mud that nearly swallows me and as I arrive it calls me clean.
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